NEVER EVER

still alone

Where are you walking,
what are you staring at now?
Are you still chasing that dream
you once told me about?

Tifa Lockheart and Cloud Strife were raised in the same village, though they did not interact much --despite what either may insist. Cloud was a year older and an outsider who admired the pretty little girl from afar. Tifa, on the other hand, was too wrapped up in her own friends and affairs to notice her shadow.

After the death of her mother, Tifa naively interprets tales of traveling spirits as fact and sets off into the mountains to find her mother's spirit. The other boys back away, but she is followed by Cloud through the dangerous trek. The adventure is curtailed when a rickety bridge snaps and both children fall to the ground; Tifa is rendered unconscious while Cloud suffers only a few bumps and scratches. As a result, the two are separated and Tifa is forbidden to see Cloud again.

Eventually, Cloud -- like the other boys -- decides to join SOLDIER, and he requests to talk to Tifa in one last effort to impress her. Tifa was never particularly close to Cloud but accepts his invitation on the condition that he promises to protect her whenever she's in trouble. The promise is made.

When you stood here
and watched the scenery,
how much anxiety and confusion
did you battle with?

Tifa meets Cloud again five years later. He is slumped and incoherent before finally snapping to his senses with a sudden rush of pride. Tifa is overjoyed to see a familiar face but simultaneously irked by his behavior. She notes that he remembers things he should not have known -- Nibelheim's destruction -- and cannot recall those that he should. All and all, he is an entirely different person, and Tifa has no idea how to approach such a problem. Instead, she coaxes him into staying in her company and observes. She soon realizes that she is in love, but with who? Slightly shy, a little afraid, and extremely confused, Tifa does her best to display her affections without blurting them outright.

However, even the best kept secrets can only stay hidden for so long, and Tifa's world shatters with Cloud's when he learns what truly happened five years ago. Nevertheless, it is her strong resolve that rebuilds both worlds. He once promised be her hero, and now it is her turn to be his.

In walking Cloud through his memories, she not only discovers his hopes, dreams and desires, but hers as well. She learns that her feelings were not displaced; she learns that he too took their promise to heart. He strove to impress her, and his inability to protect her ate away at his heart even now.

I remember your promise.
I remember every day.

On the eve of the final showdown, AVALANCHE temporarily parts ways to return to the homes they left behind--the homes they may never see again. Suddenly, Tifa and Cloud find that they have come full circle. They are again alone under the stars, now with an added realization that the each is all the other has left. When Cloud struggles to articulate this, Tifa assures him that he doesn't need words.

Her initiative reinforces the parallel between this night under the stars and the promise at the well, but it also marks the distinct difference between the two scenarios. Where she wished for a romantic, knight in shining armor as child, she is now prepared to realize her feelings as an adult.

As horrific as the previous months have been, and as doomed as the Planet may seem, Tifa is not as alone as she once thought. This is a great comfort -- a promise, even -- in and of itself.

Inspired by Ayumi Hamasaki's "still alone" (I am...); popular unofficial translation courtesy of Divine Ayu.

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NEVER EVER is a fansite designed and maintained by Stacey Anne and is in no way affiliated with Square Enix, Sony, Ayumi Hamasaki or Avex. No infringement is intended with the making of this site; this is just the work of a fan wishing to share her appreciation. All lyrics featured on the site written by Ayumi Hamasaki; translations courtesy of Divine Ayu and Centigrade-J.