Moments
| 心が個がついて 焼けるに老いがした それは夢の終わり 全ての始まりだった |
My heart burns, I smell it burning. That was the end of your dream It was the start of everything |
When the grim reality of Cloud's absence finally starts to sink in, Tifa is understandably upset. She loves this man more than anything, she has always done her best to help him, and now he's shut her out. Worst of all, she had known something was wrong -- of course she had seen it -- but she had continuously assured herself of the contrary. She hadn't pressed the issue as far as she should have. She could have done this, she should have done that, and now he is gone because of her lack of foresight.
Back in Midgar she had Barret there to help her out, to watch her back, and to be her constant support. After he had left to travel the world, Cloud had stayed by her side as they struggled to start their own lives. But now he has gone as well, and -- unlike Barret -- she has no idea where he is. A customer's claim of seeing him around Midgar acts as her only assurance that he's even alive, and hearsay is hardly trustworthy.
She is truly alone.
For all intents and purposes, Tifa suddenly finds herself filling the role of a single mother as she simultaneously runs her business with little to no outside help. Her adoptive son is deathly ill, they have little power for lighting or heat, and -- worst of all -- she has no words of comfort to offer. She doesn't know when or if he'll get better. She doesn't know where Cloud is; she doesn't know if he's hurt or dying or dead. What does she tell these children when they ask?
| 君の砕け散った夢の破片が 僕の胸を刺したて 忘れてはいけない痛みとして刻まれてく |
The fragments of your burst dream Stab my breast I mustn't forget, I'll record it as pain. |
After what feels like eternity, Tifa agrees to take Marlene to Midgar's old church -- the place in which Cloud once admitted to staying -- in a final, desperate attempt to contact the missing man. The little girl insists on waiting to greet him when he is nowhere to be found, and Tifa stands off to the side, dutifully watching after her daughter as she plays in Aeris' flowers. Marlene is all smiles, humming to herself as she carefully cradles each blossom, while Tifa's own lips are drawn into a tight, concerned line. Although there may have been a glimmer of hope when they first arrived, she is certain now that Cloud is not coming back to them. Even if they do see him at the church, he won't listen. Maybe she's even a little afraid to see him; what can she possibly say to him after all of this?
As she watches Marlene play, it is clear that she is working up an explanation -- even an excuse -- to leave the church behind. She loves this little girl as her own, and she doesn't want her heart to break as her own heart has. In light of all that has happened, the last thing she wants is for Marlene and even Denzel to be brought down by the perpetual state of misery she can't seem to escape.
| 鳥のようにはばたけるなら 君の元へ飛んでいくでしょう そして傷を負ったその背に 僕の羽を差し出すでしょう |
If I could fly like a bird I'd fly to you. And offer my wings To your wounded back. |
In spite of all of the stress and sadness, Tifa refuses to spend her days agonizing over every mistake and loss. She has accepted these children into her heart and home, and she's not about to let anything hurt them--not even her own inner-demons. Of course she wants to reach Cloud; she doesn't love him any less, but she knows she can't risk neglecting Marlene or Denzel. They are her first priority.
When she speaks with Marlene, she bends down to meet her gaze and smiles. There is no talk of loneliness or loss, and the little girl beams back. Even if she has her own doubts, she remains positive in the presence of her children. Only when they are not looking does she let her smile fall into an unapologetic look of concern. Old habits die hard, it would seem, and Tifa ultimately chooses to grin and bear it to see Marlene and Denzel through.
| 君がもうこれ以上 二度とこわいものを 見なくてすむのなら 僕は何にでもなろう |
If it'll make it So you need never see Anything scary ever again I'll be anything. |
Tifa Lockheart is no stranger to violence. She has fought along side and against the strongest forces the Planet has ever seen. She has witnessed horrible mass murders, including the destruction of both places she had come to call home. She knows what it means to kill, and she's had her own brush with death on numerous occasions.
Yet in Advent Children, although she is present at many of the climatic showdowns, the seasoned fighter only raises her fists at two specific instances: once when she and Marlene are cornered by the dangerous Loz in the church, and again when a Shadow Creeper pounces on a comatose Denzel.
It is not as if Tifa is less capable than her companions in battle, nor has she lost sight of the common goal to protect the Planet. On the contrary, her many sacrifices have helped her recognize what is ultimately worth fighting for. She may not have faced and sorted every painful memory, but she knows that the most important thing to her is her family. It is at the center of her world, and as the rest falls apart around her, she is determined to keep her family from harm. She focuses every ounce of strength she has into the fight against Loz and that single punch aimed for the Shadow Creeper. It is her last stand in her state of desperation.
Inspired by Ayumi Hamasaki's "Moments " (MY STORY ); popular unofficial translation courtesy of Centigrade-J.
NEVER EVER is a fansite designed and maintained by Stacey Anne and is in no way affiliated with Square Enix, Sony, Ayumi Hamasaki or Avex. No infringement is intended with the making of this site; this is just the work of a fan wishing to share her appreciation. All lyrics featured on the site written by Ayumi Hamasaki; translations courtesy of Divine Ayu and Centigrade-J.